VAN's FiCTiON PRESENTS:  Great Moments in
                Television

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                FAVORiTE BUFFY QUOTE
"I like my evil like I like my men: evil. You know, straight up, black hat, 'tied to the train tracks', 'soon my electro-ray will destroy Metropolis'— bad."

  The quote is from Pangs (4.8), and the screencap is from Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2.16), from screencap-paradise.

STARGÅTE SG-1  Episode: Hathor (1.13)
CARTER: "Why do I feel like I'm in a women-behind-bars movie?"
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And a thousand Sam/Janet fan-fictions were born.f/f
                    (Sam/Janet)
The two screencaps are from the excellent gateworld.net

Remember The Adventures of Sinbad?  No?  How 'bout... Mæve?
Jacqueline Collen as Maeve Oh, THAT Adventures of Sinbad.
The sorceress Mæve was MAGIC! MAGIC
...& she had ATTITUDE! ATTITUDE
...& HUGE... tracts of land! TRACTS
...& then there was that unfortunate HORNY VIKINGS incident. MMMFH??

...and then she left the show... and so did most of my interest.

Jacqueline Collen has left acting & moved on to FAIRIES & HORSESI wish her all the best
& hope she doesn't mind if Mæve stars in a VAN's FiCTiON story at some point in the future. 
Mæve images were gleaned from the web, mostly from Starman's MOST EXCELLENT site, or are from my DiDcap collection.

_ Xena Warrior Princess (Anthony & Cleopatra, 5.18) _

Lucy Lawless is pretending to be Xena, Warrior Princess, who is pretending to be Cleopatra, who has died of an asp bite in the milk bath (which has gotta hurt).  Naked, in golden chains, and rolled up in a carpet, Xena has herself delivered to Marc Antony, who holds the rank of Roman Stud-Muffin, conveyed upon him by the Senate and the Vestal Virgins' Booster Club (Bake Sale Committee). Wow! *NICE* carpet!!

"I am Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, Slave of Rome."
(That's the actual line!)
Hi, big fella. So... Well...

...there ensues a long, sweaty night of hot monkey love, right? I'm waiting.
WRONG!! Huh?

Marc Woosie unlocks Xena/Cleo's chains! Spoilsport!
(Which, apparently, feels very good.) Aaaah!

He removes all of them.
Click...
...and I mean all of them. Clack.

...& then doesn't do anything!!  I know!  Xena doesn't believe it either.
Hmm, too subtle?

Zeus!  What does a warrior princess         
have
to do to get laid in this town?
    ●



_ The BIG juicy Xena-caps are from the most excellent Ariane's Xena Warrior Princess Gallery _
_

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Space... the final frontier...

STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION  "The Price" (S03E08)
Bev & Deanna
It was at this point that The Dancing Doctor (Gates McFadden) and Riker's future-baby-momma (Marina Sirtis) decided to go back to Deanna's quarters, lock the door (with triple encryption), rip off each others sexy but disappointingly unrevealing 24th Century exercise outfits, and make love like a couple of crazed Denebian Slime Devils until they were almost late for their next duty shifts.

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