Musings about Jabba's Harem

VAN's FiCTiON	PRESENTS...

	Jabba's Harem Ya know, if I was a gangster like Jabba du Hutt, I'd keep slavegirls in metal bikinis lounging around my desert fortress too. But I can think of MUCH better things for intergalactic bounty hunters to be chasing than unlucky smugglers (like Han "Nerf Herder" Solo). For example...
	MORE SLAVEGIRLS!!

Slavegirls currently languishing with Princess Leia in the harem include:


	Samantha Carter
	A member of a team of explorers from "Earth" (an obscure planet in a galaxy far, far away), "Sam" has adapted reasonably well to her capture and enslavement. She's feisty, spirited, very intelligent, and gets along well with the other slavegirls; however, she keeps disassembling any and all available technology and cobbling together escape and/or communication devices. Requires regular "discipline" to keep her from getting bored.


		Wilma Deering
		Human, like Sam, but from an "Earth" with different quantum dimensional coordinates. Wilma is not a happy camper, and keeps threatening to "kick the butt" of someone named "Buck", who she blames for her predicament. The other slavegirls are getting tired of her 10,000 Reasons I Hate Buck tirades, and sometimes take matters into their own hands—first binding and gagging Wilma, then tickling and teasing her for hours... sometimes all night.


	T'pol
	A "Vulcan" from yet another quantum reality, T'pol has an impressive pair of... pointy ears. Something in the food or water at the palace keeps her in a constant horn-dog state ("Pon far", she calls it) and she keeps ripping off her metal bikini and forcing herself on the other slavegirls. We have no choice but to keep her chained to the wall in one of the empty Rancor kennels. This does make her useful for disciplinary purposes. "Be a good slavegirl, or you'll be tied up and locked in with T'pol for the night!"


		Chiana
		(I really do need to get that dimensional trans-flux interociter recalibrated.) Anyway... Chiana's a "Nebari" from yet another parallel dimension. She's a cute little thing, with gray skin, white hair (above and below), and she has this charming, quirky little smile and this fascinatingly strange (and sexy) way of moving. Everybody really likes her, and she's become one of the most popular members of the harem in no time. (Did I mention she's a dedicated omni-sexual nympho-hedonist?)


	Susan Ivanova
	Another earth-human! The bounty hunter who brought her in claims she was commander of a primitive space station named "Babylon 5". I sent him back to see if there are any more like her, on Babylons 1 through 4, maybe. Susan's a feisty one, and I fear it may be some time before I can trust her enough to not keep her in "mutant cuffs" 24/7. Hmm... maybe if I chain her collar-to-collar with Chiana and lock them both in with T'pol for the night, she might settle down. Hmm...


		Dana Scully
		Okay, I admit it, I like these earth females. Granted, they can be feisty and difficult to train—especially the ones with copper tinted cranial and pubic fur—but they tell such amusing stories. Anyway, this one was bought from Roswell-Gray bounty hunters and claims to work for one of the earthling governments as an investigator of criminal activity. Once she completes basic harem indoctrination, I'm thinking of assigning her to "Cruise Director" duty on the Master's sail barge.

More slavegirls will be added to the harem as they're captured.

VAN'S FiCTiON